So much for the euphoria. I am back on the emotional roller coaster again. This has been a really hard day. I will try to explain the best I can as to what has been taking place. It's complicated so just bear with me.
Everything was going so good..no problems whatsoever; however, I awoke early this morning with a large amount of bleeding. Having been through this before, I knew what was coming..another miscarriage. It was way more bleeding than I had when I had the blood clot with Tyler. But why? Everything was going so good. I called my regular OB and explained what was happening and was told to come over right away. I saw my ob who told me that my cervix was still closed (meaning I had not fully miscarried yet) but that there was a lot of blood and what looked like "fetal tissue". They told me to go home, rest, and come back in two hours when the ultrasound tech would be there. I called Chris and work and he came home immediately. How could things go so wrong so fast? Before I left, they drew an beta hCG to check my levels. They wanted me to come back on Wednesday for another one and they would compare the two, just to see if the numbers, by chance, were still increasing.
At any rate, I went home, sobbed for two hours, then we went back to the office for the ultrasound. It didn't look good. The tech told me that I had blood around the gestational sac and the sac looked "abnormal." I was told that I was probably in the early stages of a miscarriage, but it was really too early to tell. I was instructed to go home and wait it out. You have got to be kidding me..wait it out? How in the heck do you "wait out" something like that. We were both devastated. Shortly after I got back home, I called my infertility doctor to let him know what was going on and he wanted to see me right away. I should have called him first but he is an hour away and the OB is five minutes down the road, so I went with the one I could get to the fastest. That drive to Charlotte was the longest of my life. Luckily, we didn't have to wait too long. The RE did an ultrasound and said that what I had been told at the OB's office was inaccurate and that everything looked fine to him and not to worry. What? I had just been told a few hours before that everything was "abnormal" and that I was probably going to miscarry this baby. He said they didn't know what they were talking about at the OB's office. He said the bleeding could be coming from the progesterone I was taking or I could have had another blood clot to rupture. It took me a while to compose myself after hearing that kind of news. We were stunned, nonetheless, to learn that we still had a chance of this being a viable pregnancy. He did tell me it was early and he couldn't promise me this pregnancy would produce a baby..that, he said, was all in God's hands and all we could really do is just wait and see what happened. But at that moment in time, I was still pregnant.
Everything was going so good..no problems whatsoever; however, I awoke early this morning with a large amount of bleeding. Having been through this before, I knew what was coming..another miscarriage. It was way more bleeding than I had when I had the blood clot with Tyler. But why? Everything was going so good. I called my regular OB and explained what was happening and was told to come over right away. I saw my ob who told me that my cervix was still closed (meaning I had not fully miscarried yet) but that there was a lot of blood and what looked like "fetal tissue". They told me to go home, rest, and come back in two hours when the ultrasound tech would be there. I called Chris and work and he came home immediately. How could things go so wrong so fast? Before I left, they drew an beta hCG to check my levels. They wanted me to come back on Wednesday for another one and they would compare the two, just to see if the numbers, by chance, were still increasing.
At any rate, I went home, sobbed for two hours, then we went back to the office for the ultrasound. It didn't look good. The tech told me that I had blood around the gestational sac and the sac looked "abnormal." I was told that I was probably in the early stages of a miscarriage, but it was really too early to tell. I was instructed to go home and wait it out. You have got to be kidding me..wait it out? How in the heck do you "wait out" something like that. We were both devastated. Shortly after I got back home, I called my infertility doctor to let him know what was going on and he wanted to see me right away. I should have called him first but he is an hour away and the OB is five minutes down the road, so I went with the one I could get to the fastest. That drive to Charlotte was the longest of my life. Luckily, we didn't have to wait too long. The RE did an ultrasound and said that what I had been told at the OB's office was inaccurate and that everything looked fine to him and not to worry. What? I had just been told a few hours before that everything was "abnormal" and that I was probably going to miscarry this baby. He said they didn't know what they were talking about at the OB's office. He said the bleeding could be coming from the progesterone I was taking or I could have had another blood clot to rupture. It took me a while to compose myself after hearing that kind of news. We were stunned, nonetheless, to learn that we still had a chance of this being a viable pregnancy. He did tell me it was early and he couldn't promise me this pregnancy would produce a baby..that, he said, was all in God's hands and all we could really do is just wait and see what happened. But at that moment in time, I was still pregnant.
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