Ok, this is point where it's okay to call us crazy. Yes…you guessed it…we are jumping back into the mad world of infertility treatments. We have decided it is time to try for a second child. I am now 36 years old and I know that with every passing year, my chances of conceiving another child become less. Our "plan" was to try to have another child soon after Tyler was born but it just didn't turn out that way. We've tried for four years without any success on our own. So, it's back to the fertility clinic once again. Don't get me wrong, I am perfectly happy parenting an only child, but I really want Tyler to have a sibling to grow up with. Although, I know that he will have a family of his own someday, there is nothing like having a brother or sister to share the joys and weather the storms of life with.
Since we've been down this road before, we are well aware of what lies ahead. It's not always pretty, and there are a lot of physical and emotional ups and downs. Simply put, it’s a difficult journey. Time is definitely not on my side. I am now four years older than when Tyler was born and I am considered to be of "advanced maternal age." Great. I'm now an "old" woman trying to have a baby. Yet another strike against me. At any rate, I think I have needed these four years to help heal some of the emotional scars that the previous years of infertility treatments left behind, but I am ready now. I am ready to face what lies ahead..the good, the bad, and the ugly. If there is one positive, its that in November of 2006, I underwent gastric bypass surgery. Since that time, have lost 147 pounds. I am hoping that in itself will give us a little boost in our quest to conceive. Granted, most of that weight was gained AFTER I was pregnant with Tyler so my weight really wasn't a factor the first time but you just never know. I just "feel" a lot healthier now, if that counts for anything. I know that it may not be God's plan for me to have another child, and I accept that, too. I have already made up my mind that I will give it six rounds of IUIs and then I'm hanging it up. Six is all my body can take, mentally, physically, and emotionally before it starts to break down to the point of not being able to function properly. It took six rounds and four years to conceive Tyler. In four years I will be 40. I have friends that will be grandparents at that age. That's really scary. I just don't want to reach 40, look back, and say "I wish I would have…." I don’t like to live life with any regrets. Time is the one thing you can't get back. When it's gone…it's gone. I just have an overwhelming feeling that if I didn't at least try I would always have that regret. For me, at least, it's easier to try without success and know you gave it all you had than to never try at all go through the rest of your life wishing you had.
And with that being said, the quest begins (again)!
Since we've been down this road before, we are well aware of what lies ahead. It's not always pretty, and there are a lot of physical and emotional ups and downs. Simply put, it’s a difficult journey. Time is definitely not on my side. I am now four years older than when Tyler was born and I am considered to be of "advanced maternal age." Great. I'm now an "old" woman trying to have a baby. Yet another strike against me. At any rate, I think I have needed these four years to help heal some of the emotional scars that the previous years of infertility treatments left behind, but I am ready now. I am ready to face what lies ahead..the good, the bad, and the ugly. If there is one positive, its that in November of 2006, I underwent gastric bypass surgery. Since that time, have lost 147 pounds. I am hoping that in itself will give us a little boost in our quest to conceive. Granted, most of that weight was gained AFTER I was pregnant with Tyler so my weight really wasn't a factor the first time but you just never know. I just "feel" a lot healthier now, if that counts for anything. I know that it may not be God's plan for me to have another child, and I accept that, too. I have already made up my mind that I will give it six rounds of IUIs and then I'm hanging it up. Six is all my body can take, mentally, physically, and emotionally before it starts to break down to the point of not being able to function properly. It took six rounds and four years to conceive Tyler. In four years I will be 40. I have friends that will be grandparents at that age. That's really scary. I just don't want to reach 40, look back, and say "I wish I would have…." I don’t like to live life with any regrets. Time is the one thing you can't get back. When it's gone…it's gone. I just have an overwhelming feeling that if I didn't at least try I would always have that regret. For me, at least, it's easier to try without success and know you gave it all you had than to never try at all go through the rest of your life wishing you had.
And with that being said, the quest begins (again)!
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